I have already breathed out many sighs this month. A sigh of relief after finally announcing my indefinite break from my work and social media. A sigh of sorrow about what continues to happen in Palestine. Sighs that merged from pleasure into sad sobs. Many more.
My body held a lot in 2023. I have so much that wants to be put down this year, so much that needs to be resolved. Sometimes when I sigh, I like to imagine that whatever feels weighted in me transforms into a thin white mist as I inhale and permanently leaves my bones, blood, tissues, sinew, with my exhale. I don’t think it works like that but the image comforts me. It helps me feel like I can make solid the irksome and turbulent ephemera I carry in me, that I can expel some of their fragments through one big poignant sigh. Sometimes I do feel a little lighter after.
I want to feel lighter this month. I want to find love in my body. I want to say all of the words I’ve not been courageous enough to curl my tongue around. I want to feel peace and ease. It’s encouraging that I’ve managed to find lightness this month, sometimes through happenstance, others from my own tenacity.1 I want to be an advocate for my light this month. I want to be an advocate of my peace.
I put this month’s playlist together in that vein. On it, you’ll find songs from Björk, Shuggie Otis, Teebs, and Grouper. If you’re a paid subscriber (I really really appreciate you!) you’ll find the playlist below. If you’ve joined Big Time Sensuality at the free tier and want to enjoy this month’s playlist and other sharings soon to come, become a paid subscriber to support the labor of love I do here.
Thank you for being here.