August has given me clarity that has been refreshing to feel, know, and embody. The grief from last month feels like it’s finally been transmuted into hard-learned lessons that I continue to chew on as I explore new loves, new adventures, and new pathways toward healing. Not that the grief is gone completely, it’s just that it’s not taking up as much space as it did last month.
I’m rejoicing that I feel like I’ve come back to myself, that the clouds of grief and confusion have lifted and my nervous system has felt more consistently regulated.
There’s a lot moving in me in realms of my sexual identity and desire that I’m working to unpack in real time. I’m challenging a lot of presumptions I’ve made about myself which is allowing me to fill out spaces within my sexuality that have been empty, unacknowledged. I’ve also been feeling the weight of my birthday coming soon and trying not to let that destabilize me. I’m trying to stay in the moment, trying to remember not to take things so seriously, including the way it feels like time continues to whir by too quickly at times. Even in this moment, I’m grappling to understand how it could possibly be August.
There’s so much more I can say about what I’ve been exploring and feeling into this month, but I feel called to leave it here. But before I do, I wanted to offer this month’s playlist that I made with songs that get close to encapsulating the moods, the vibes, and the inner explorations I’ve been in this month. On this one, I’ve got some of my favorites from Little Dragon, Radiohead, Erykah Badu, Men I Trust, and Melodisinfonie.
If you’re a paid subscriber (hey love, I appreciate you!) you’ll find the playlist below. If you’ve joined Big Time Sensuality at the free tier and want to enjoy July’s playlist and other sharings soon to come, become a paid subscriber to support the labor of love I do here.
Enjoy. xx